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Public Toilets

Be it in shops, parks or wherever you find one when in desperate need.

 

 

1. Open the door slowly, as you never know what you might find.
2. Carefully take that dreaded peek down the pan, as you never know what you might find.
3. Check the seat for any wet bits and any other bits, yeuk! (we won’t go into them bits), as you never know what you might find.
4. Do not on sit on seat, even if there are no obvious signs of ‘other’ users being in said toilet.
5. Perch over and pray it goes down the pan and not over the seat/floor.
6. Reach out for loo paper to find there is NO END PIECE to pull.
7. Twist arm in peculiar manner, somehow find ‘lost end’ whilst at the same time, try not to move in any shape or form in case you dribble on seat/floor.
8. Keeping arm-twisted in peculiar manner, repeat No: 7 again and again until ‘lost end’ is found.
9. Hold tight to ‘found end’ and pull.
10. Sigh a big sigh, as you end up with one measly tiny square.
11. Repeat No: 7 all over again.

 

Sandra x

 

Snakes Alive

The Chinese New year falls in February this year and it will be the year of the SSSSnake.

Some people will be feeling goose bumps on their arms and the hairs on the back of their neck tingle at the thought of snakes. Poor snakes get a bad reputation, but they are not that bad really, no honestly, truly, people who have never held a snake assume they must be cold and slippery when in actual fact, they are warm and silky and very friendly, sometimes a little over friendly. 

I remember a long time ago I stayed at my sister’s house after a long night of partying (those were the days) I trotted out of the bedroom as you do, hair sticking up all over the place, smudged make-up, headache, in my nightie to a very comical sight.

My sister Joy had a snake, no I don’t know what kind of a snake it was, but a big(ish) snake. Anyway there she was trying to hold on tight to an upended tank on one hand and a snake curled around her other hand. ‘Here cop hold of this a minute.’ she said holding her arm out, snake attached.

‘Thanks.’ says I as I try and dis-entangle brute from attached arm somehow, so she could carry out the big clean up of snakes home. 

Well quite strong this snake was and it decided it needed somewhere to hide. I tried and I tried to hold it still but it was determined to wrap itself around something nice and warm, that something warm being me, so up the bottom of my rather short nightie it went and out through the top of it. Oh my, I wriggled and wriggled with this thing trying to spare my blushes as it pulled the said nightie up with itself all in a tangle. 

My sister just took one look at the state of me, laughed her head off and went and got the camera, huh! lovely sister no rescue for me until AFTER the photo. All these years I have wondered what happened to that photo. I just hope she never reads this blog or she will digging it out from some dark deep recess.

I digress, where was I, Oh yes year of the snake, People born under this sign are said to be Intuitive Wise, attractive and very graceful. 

Well I can tell you that snake certainly was

Much love

Sandra x

Links are getting linked

Well blogging days are here. Finally, we have linked, via facebook and twitter.

Try as I might, I could not do all this yesterday, how I have managed it today is a complete mystery. Hopefully I will have a co-ordinated theme and colums on my page tommorow. Slowly catchee monkey as they say.

I hope you will follow ‘This Newbie’ to see how I progress and grow, I may even sneak you in some photos, quips and even throw in a few stories of my own.

Thankyou for reading.

Watch this space!!!!

Sandra x

Hello World :)

     I have arrived in the world of technology, well what can I say, other than I am on a steep learning curve here.

     I feel I have been in a vortex, sucked in and spat out again, so am feeling a little giddy at the moment. Although exciting, it is also a bit scary.

     My one concern here is that we all end up sitting in front of our P.C’s, laptops, tablets, phones etc. for hours and hours looking at a screen and pressing buttons like little human robots. Life as we know it is changing and changing fast, I hope we don’t all evolve into robotoids!!!

     How many of us sit at our desks and e-mail a workmate sitting at the end of the office? I reckon we are all guilty of that somehow. so…………as much as I love to write, be it stories for Children and for us ‘Grown Ups’ doing blogs, facebook and chatting to my lovely author friends on ”The Creative Writing Support’ group etc etc. I will try hard to get off my bum (at some point) to go outside and breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds, visit my friends face to face, and not become a  robotoid.

    ooooo it’s cold outside so I’ll just e-mail my neighbour next door to say hello and have a bit of a gossip……oops! I am a robotoid, have a good evening all,

speak soon

Sandra x